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March 10, 2011 – Does anyone remember when the news used to report the news?
I do. It was ages ago. Now the news is a constant stream of stuff to make you feel uneasy. It does not even have to be news; it can just be words, put on the page in such a way that it reminds you to hate someone, or some group of people.
We all know who to blame, not that we do anything about it. Rupert Murdoch is hands down the worst Human Being alive right now, or at least he is the most destructive. He has a lot to answer for. Fox News is just about the dumbest way you can get “the news.” The only way you could receive the news in a dumber way would be to have someone bash your head in with a sledgehammer, wrapped in The Daily Mail.
If you visit FoxNews.com with the intent of reading about Libya or Iran, to save you time, you need to search for it in the section marked ‘Europe’. American Geographical Ignorance strikes again.
Placing a story in the wrong box is almost forgivable when compared to the stories they fill the gaps with. In the UK news, particularly the tabloid papers, these stories would be about Internet Perverts, or Immigrants on Benefits. Those two stories are sure to rile the most ardent Mail reader whereas; in the U.S., these stories would not cause sufficient outrage not to a fully-fledged member of the Right Wing. Perverts and Immigrants are small potatoes.
So the question remains, what riles an American Idiot?
There are 3 words that are a sure-fire way to get a Patriot acting all Patriotic, Osama Bin Laden.
Today FoxNews.com have published a story about one the 21st century’s ‘baddest’ bad guys. The most powerful and important country to have ever existed, America, have thus far failed to capture this Muslim mad man, whose existence should surely now be under question. Seeing as they have failed to capture him time and time again, FoxNews.com decided to print a story theorizing, or fantasizing, about how it would unfold in the event of his capture, regardless how minuscule their chances. The story in question is titled “If Caught, Bin Laden Would Be Sent To Guantanamo Bay” which could be why Obama kept it open, despite his pillow talk. They need a hardcore torture chamber that is not on US soil.
At some point, someone has to say that there is no chance of ever catching Bin Laden. I guess it is left to me, as I seem to have just said it. It does not matter what you think about the role he played, theories about his family ties, or fake looking videos or the fact that no one has grassed Bin Laden up, bribing farmers cannot be that difficult. Why not offer privilege cards for McDonalds, Starbucks, and Coke, the real face of democracy. Giant corporations that make democracy look all Communist, but brightly colored enough that the people who hate communism will not notice. Touché, Giant Corporation, well played.
Fox News might as well be Coca Cola News, it would seem just as serious, and I can’t imagine it will be that far in the future that Coke starts sponsoring Fox. Such is the integrity of their news casting. Below is a video of Fox Stalwart, Bill O’Reilly questioning the moon’s intentions. Watch the video at the end of this article.
Bill O’Reilly is one of the faces of Fox News, next to the Giant White Face of The Fuhrer Glenn Beck. Bill “You Can’t Explain That” O’Reilly is a newsreader, a very influential newsreader, and he is on the Internet asking, “who put the moon there” over and over and over like a maniac with massive brain trauma.
Between theoretically capturing the bogeyman and Bill O’Reilly trying to comprehend something as massive as the universe – along with crying white supremacists – Fox News should not be taken seriously but it is. The Key demographic for Fox is massive, which is as much to do with the lack of a grey area in US politics as it does the intelligence of people who idolize someone who would say, on the Internet, “who put the moon there?”
Bill O’Reilly and all his followers are the reason that Religion still has such a hold on the human race. They are the same as the people to whom the Alien Overlords tried to explain the complexities and the mysteries regarding the origins of our universe, before becoming frustrated and ‘dumbing’ it down to “Screw it, one guy did all this. Enjoy, we’re out of here!”
What I have learned from my morning on FoxNews.com is what the U.S. will do, in theory, if they ever catch Osama Bin Laden. FoxNews.com thinks that Libya and Iran are in Europe, and Bill O’Reilly is quite possibly the dumbest person on TV, a group that includes every reality TV star since the Reality TV boom of the last decade. Think about that group before you settle down to inhale anymore of that buffoon’s carcinogenic opinions and delusions.
The Coca Cola Company Did Not Bring This Information To You.
Henry Hunter WorldNewsVine UK